-275 I'm back - not that I ever left

Where did my week go? Other than working and living through a ninja migraine ( silent migraine that I don't always feel in my head but my body still responds to the insane pain )that I didn't realise I was battling until Thursday afternoon when the pain actually kicked in - I've been busy getting through all the stuff that has a deadline attached to it. 

After this week and talking things through with Marvelous Mum yesterday ( sometimes just talking out loud clarifies things ) I've realised that this new generic brand of migraine meds I am on perhaps isn't agreeing with me. My hair has been dropping out at an insanely high rate ( which I had under control somewhat in the past month or so ), I've been jittery, the ninja week long migraine is back and it's been really difficult to concentrate when I am reading and not just Uni textbooks either. I've only been on this brand for 2 weeks so it's back to the doc to get another script this week because I'm out of repeats. Another thing to do. Lol !

This week I'll have to do a Bachelor Update - 'cause it's been a while. 

Ok, back to the Uni work....

....err...um...actually it's time to watch Fringe Mmmm Joshua Jackson....and then one final reading before bed. 

xMiss365

-288 - 285 The first work week of March ( Tuesday 1st - Friday 4th March 2011)

Photo by luigi diamanti

All week I've had these pre migraine symptoms and came home each afternoon prepared to go for a walk or an interval run but ended up just staring at the TV or going to have a quick afternoon nap that turned into a 3 or 4 hour one. Annoying but obviously necessary.

Nothing hugely insightful to share from this week but some highlights -

• My work badge has my surname on it but because I am a Teacher that teaches in different schools all the time kids need to know what to call me and other Teachers need to know what to introduce me as. Hence my badge says "Miss [insert the real Bruce Wayne type surname of Miss 365 here]". Well on Wednesday I accidentally kept it on and went to the shops after work to buy the milk, some english muffins and other staples ( no bananas - lol ) and got asked for my phone number twice! I didn't work it out until the second guy who pointed out I was a 'Miss'. So apparently it pays to advertise - even if you do it inadvertently. ;) Oh and no, I did not give out my number. The first guy no - the second guy was wearing a wedding ring. 
• I got my hair coloured and cut on Thursday night and I love it ! Other people aren't sure about it because the colour starts halfway down my head rather than at the top and goes from really dark at the top to light at the ends but it's a little edgy and more ME than I have been in a long, long time. Love it!
• I get higher points on "Groove is in the Heart" than on "Hot and Cold" on Wii Just Dance 1. And I laugh like a hyena the whole time so I'm at a loss to exactly how I am getting these points. Although my running man rocks! ;)
• I've noticed a pattern to my Friday night's now. I am finding that I am working back longer and longer in the afternoon, hitting ridiculous peak hour traffic that is worse because it is Friday, doing some food shopping and then by the time I get home and have dinner it's not that many hours until I need to go to bed and because I have a regular Saturday morning appointment to get up for. I have come to see Friday nights as my lonely night and almost procrastinating going home in order to make it pass quicker. There's a ballet class that I've looked into going to and I'm going to do it so I can do ballet again on my own terms ( this post will explain some of my issues ) but I've been avoiding starting that as well. 

Well that's about all for my week. Only 5 weeks until holidays! 

xMiss365

-289 Migraine Monday

I had such a big day at work today and worked through until about 6pm. It was The Non Bachelor's birthday so we talked on the phone for about an hour and not surprisingly he told me that he's met someone. Why is it so easy for guys? And why does it seem easy for them to meet women who are open to Christianity and going to Church to meet women outside of Church ?  I think, no I know, I need to get out more. ;)

Bachelor #4 made mention in an email that out emails were getting long so I suggested we Skpe. Still no word from him although he has commented on my Facebook status's and stuff so it's not like he hasn't been on. Not analyzing - I'm just not making excuses for him. I don't think he's interested in getting to know me beyond emailing I guess. Not giving up on him but I'm considering taking back his Bachelor status ;)

Can feel a migraine on it's way but I'm not going to accept it and succumb to it's sleepy pull. Normal bedtime for me tonight. 

xMiss365

-320 Bands with too many effects pedals & their consequences ( Friday 7th & Saturday 8th January 2011 )

Yep, regular readers ( all 3 of you - lol ! ) will know the meaning of the image to the left. 

Consequences of my big day yesterday ( -321 A really, really ridiculously good day ) and I would hazard a likely guess that what tipped me well and truly over the edge was the sheer volume of the support band last night at the the Cold War Kids gig meant that I was literally wiped out for two days with a migraine.

So not much to report. I slept a lot. I watched some dvds and browsed the web a bit. I don't think I spoke to another human directly during this time though. And I was annoyed that two of my precious holiday days were being taken up in Mirgraine Land. 

But I'm still glad I had Day -321. It was a really, really ridiculously good day ;)

xMiss365

-358 You Have Mail !

Photo by jscreationzs

Now I'm not sure what you do when you first wake up but this morning before I even got out of bed I had received an email notification on my iphone alerting me to the fact I had mail at The Dating Site That Shall Not Be Named. Exciting !

I logged on and  opened the app praying that it wasn't one of those strangely worded ones that I know are not genuine. It wasn't. 

It was from a girl. ;)

She did apologise for the email coming from a girl not a guy and said that since I had viewed her profile ( whoops - random iphone flicking late last night - didn't actually look at her profile just clicked on her name for a second, obviously long enough to establish that I had checked her out ! Lol ! ) but said that she wanted to send me a message of encouragement from one girl to another. 

Before I get to what she sent me I truly believe that God was speaking to me today through what she sent. It was exactly what I needed to hear from Him for the weeks and months that have been hard lately where there have been changes and hard decisions made, where I have felt lied to and manipulated and unheard, times where I have felt so alone and particularly when I was waiting to find out what my diagnosis was having to be strong and look after everyone else and crying out to God for someone to look after me that I didn't have to look after, the times where I doubted my integrity and belief that I had listened and heard His voice when I asked for guidance because His directions hurt, and the many good times in between that were so wonderful that I began to just think I was just being the biggest drama queen in the world because if the good times were this good wouldn't it be easier to to just hold onto those? ( Apparently not ! Thanks God ! )  

But parts of today weren't easy as well. A sudden onset of vertigo/imbalance ,  nausea and body pain hit me hard just as the Church service started this morning. I was singing. So I took off my shoes, held onto the mic, closed my eyes so my brain wouldn't keep getting tricked by the difference in what it would 'see' compared to what it was 'feeling', remembered my attitude of Thanksgiving and seeing the blessings in all things and just worshiped. The funny thing is when this happens to me the tears just fall down my face (I've been told it's like going into shock because it happens so suddenly and it's my body's way of release ) so I must've looked really in His presence this morning! ;)

So after the service, receiving some prayer, going home and taking some new medication and all the while thanking God for finally being diagnosed with silent migraines (after more than 16 years of trying to work out what was going on with my body), prevention medication that has changed my life and now new pain medication that is a miracle of healing in itself I opened my iphone to read this encouragement once again. 

It can be found on several websites I found it here but I've copied it below. I love how these words can be written by a person, posted on a blog, sent to me via an email but spoken into my heart by my Father who knows when I need to hear His voice in a way that I cannot ignore or doubt. 

Thank you Jesus. And thank you fellow singleton on The Dating Website That Shall Not Be Named for being obedient to His guiding in sending this to me last night. :)

xMiss365

My Precious Daughter (A love letter from God to His Daughters)

My precious daughter,
I will never leave you,
I will never forsake you,
I will be faithful until the end,
You are more than just "my daughter"
You are my princess,
My beloved, my delight,
I rejoice in you,
You are beautiful,
You shine with light,
You have dove's eyes,
I rejoice in you with singing,
I will quiet you with my love,
Hold you in my arms,
Never let you go,
For you are never alone,
You never have been alone,
I've been with you all along,
Your whole life,

I understand your pain,
My sacrifice wasn't for nothing,
Let me tell you I understand your confusion,
I understand your anger and frustration,
I understand your tears,
And I care,
Very much,
For you,
Everything that is important to you,
Is important to me too,
My love for you will never end,
I will not leave you for another,
I will not abandon you ever,
No matter how far you go,
My love will never end.

I have examined you heart,
I know everything about you,
When you sit down or stand up,
I know your thoughts,
Even when you are far away,
I see you when you travel,
Or when you rest at home,
I see the tears that fall from your eyes,
I see the heartache in your home,
Believe me I know the lies,
I know the temptations,
But I am here,
I know what you are going to say,
Even before you say it.
I go before you and follow,
I place my hand of blessing on your head,
Such knowledge is beyond comprehension,
It is too wonderful for you to understand,
You can never escape from my Spirit,
You can never get away from my presence!
If you go up to heaven, I am there;
If you go down to the grave, I am there.
If you ride the wings of the morning,
If you dwell by the farthest oceans,
Even there my hand will guide you,
And my strength will support you.

You could ask the darkness to hide you,
And the light around you to become night,
But even in darkness you cannot hide from me,
To me night shine as day,
Darkness and light are the same to me,
I made all the delicate, inner parts of your body,
I made your heart,
I know what makes you hurt,
I know what makes you cry,
I know what makes you tick,
I know when breaks your heart the most,
And I know how to comfort you,
I know how to make you smile,
I know how to love you,
I know how to be a daddy who loves,
Such a beautiful daughter like you,
You long for acceptance,
When you were already accepted into my family,
You are fearfully and wonderfully made,
I love you more than you know,
I will fill your heart with the love and peace you long for,
I saw you before you were born,
I knit you together in your mother's womb,
Even then I loved you,
And I was proud of you,
And I thought of you as my beautiful daughter, my princess,
Everyday of your life is recorded in my book,
Every moment was laid out,
Every moment that would bring you joy,
Every moment that would bring you pain.

My thoughts about you are precious,
They cannot be numbered,
They out number the grains of sand,
And when you wake up in the morning,
I am still with you,
I love you more than you know,
You are beautiful to me,
Even though you feel something is always wrong,
Just look into my eyes,
See how I see you,
A beautiful princess,
With beautiful eyes that shine with my love and my light,
I love you,
And I will say it again,
I love you,
My princess, my beloved,
My precious daughter,

I love you,
I love you,
I love you.

Don't give up,
For I see the brokenness in your families,
In your friendships,
I see the pain in your eyes,
Your beautiful heart,
That used to be so filled joy,
Is now crushed beneath your burdens,
But you're still beautiful to me,
So beautiful to me,
I will heal you and restore you once again,

My precious daughter,
I will never leave you,
I will never forsake you,
I will be faithful until the end,

Faithful until the end...

Your loving Father and Daddy, Prince of Peace, King of Glory,
-Jesus.