So what's been happenin' Miss365?

Well yes. It has been a while. I have been thinking of you all and I have actually checked in a bit and had a peek at your blogs. I just couldn't bring myself to write anything about being single or my life here over these past 7 weeks. 


The best thing I have done in these past 7 weeks is not do any online dating at all. 


Ok. Well I did check into one former site when they gave me some free time. And I did find an email from a member about something random addressing something from a forum post from ages ago which sparked a four day conversation about music and fitness. But I had no illusions and once my time was up it was done. I didn't pay for the site to continue the conversation and he didn't ask for my details so I was able to leave it at that. 


So why was I able to leave it so easily? I mean this guy....smokin' hot. The former Miss365's mindset would think and possibly articulate "Out of her league" but Miss365 has had her butt in the gym for the past 6 weeks and if it's not already up there check out how much I've melted off my bod with clean eating and learning how to run.  The Miss365 now was thinking "Smokin' hot but I really don't have time for this." I know!


I have no time to think about men or boys for that matter when I am either cooking, exercising or wishing that my body wasn't quite so sore after exercising but secretly liking it because I know I've actually done some hard work. 

WHO AM I???

Lol. 


Which actually isn't a bad question really.


God has been quite persistent in getting me to work on this anxiety thing. He is way past the pruning stage and now has the root killer out. We are getting to root of the matter.


And it's surprising what is coming up. And who, how and where these revelations are taking place. 


I'm still a mess. My home is a bomb site. How Clean Is Your House would have a double epsisode here but not as many pots are rattling anymore. And when they start I have enough knowledge now to begin to think about what just "turned the heat up" and started them going. 


It's quite freeing really. Still very noisy inside my head at times. But now that I am listening to the rattling it's easier to work out why it's happening in the first place. Sometimes I can stop it with a scripture, other times a song of praise and other times just a stern word to myself to "Cut it out." Lol. 


I'm soooo happy in my job and praying that I can stay. It's unlikely because of reshuffling at a system level but I have enough support where I am at and with several people of influence that maybe, just maybe I will be able to stay. I figure that God gave me this "out" from that situation before - He's got this one covered too. :)


I've missed writing this blog but I needed to step back and concentrate on other stuff for a bit. I'm hoping that I'll be posting a couple of times a week again. 


Now I'm off to check out what you've been up to! :)


xMiss365

-264 Hi ho

Photo credited previously

...hi ho. It's off to work I go. 

Yep. Holidays are over and it's back to work tomorrow. No kids as it's a Staff Development Day but I get to start at my new school. I have to be their "early" at 8.30am which means - Oh no! I shall have to leave at around 8.10am to be sure to get there on time ! 

Lol !

Last Term I had meetings to get to at 8.30am, 24km away. I left at 7am. I was still late. 

My coffee will still be hot by the time I get to work. What a concept !

Thank you God for this new job! Please make it stay for a while ! :)

xMiss365

-273 All good things come to those who pray

Firstly, I kept you all waiting to hear my news. So sorry ! I was waiting for a few official things to be put into place in my real life and strangely I didn't want to jeopodise it by writing about it on here - even though I'm supposed to be incognito-like -with my Secret Identity! Lol ;)


A little recap....


So as far back as post -356 Thank God for Wii Boxing  & -355 Photo Montage I expressed that I was having difficulties at work. Basically my professional, personal and Church life were all mixed up together for years and until the past 12 months that didn't prove to be much of an issue. Until my relationship between myself and one particular person didn't so much as change rather I woke up to the fact it wasn't healthy nor did was it something that was enabling me to grow in any of those three areas of my life. Being the incredibly loyal person that I am - think Golden Retriever and you've got a good description! Lol !- I stuck it out until God pretty much told me enough was enough. Now I cannot say that I handled everything with 100% perfect emotional integrity nor can I say that I communicated my feelings to that particular person all the time and about everything ( history told me it was better not to ) but I did my best to stay accountable to God and to a select few people about what I was going through. When I did feel the overwhelming need to 'vent' or talk I tried to talk about events or how I was feeling about certain realisations rather than slamming that particular person. I listened to God's voice and stepped down from certain parts of my life that I loved and not only gave me purpose but a social outlet because it gave a distance between my personal and professional life. And I did what I could to preserve my friendship with those directly effected and caught in the middle.


So many times I have questioned myself over my integrity and had I gone too far in speaking to people ? Had I been too emotional ? Could I have done more to "fix the situation" ? Was I just being a plain old drama queen ? And was the medication making my reactions to this ongoing issue ( this had been going on for years ) worse ?  But it was the wise words of amazing people such as She Who Sparkles and some other amazing people ( some in Cast of Thousands some not mentioned yet ) that I realised that I was being too hard on myself and I needed to give myself a break.


Even since the beginning of this year I've given this person opportunity to start the year with me with a clean slate. To not have the misunderstandings of the past cloud the new year. And through more different understandings about what is right and appropriate my trust that I gave was once again lost.


Sounds bleak right ?


No, just another opportunity for God to show me that new things awaited me and it was ok to go. And that He had a path for me and I just needed a little nudge to get on it.


I've been applying for promotional positions and about 6 weeks ago didn't get the one that I was seeking but was offered a sideways step position. Although it was close to home I wavered, prayed about it and declined the offer. In the interim I may have felt a twinge of regret when things went a little askew in a the past few weeks again but I didn't feel convicted. Strangely enough despite still being frustrated I felt at peace. A couple of weeks ago I applied for two more promotional positions and after a flurry of "drama" on a partiular day I said to Marvelous Mum & Dependable Dad on the phone that if I didn't get these jobs and they by some miracle had that other job still open and offered it to me, I would take it.


Moral - be careful what you say out loud because God will hear you and green light His plans ! Lol !


That afternoon I got a call informing me that I didn't get the promotional jobs but they were offering me again the similar job as they offered previous. However this time they had added a few incentives and extra "non financial cherries on top" because they were impressed by my potential.


Of course I said "YES!"


*Happy Dance* began immediately!


Now technically this job is only offered for the next 12 weeks ( all jobs at the moment are ) but could be extended and made permanent. Praying it will be extended but if not at least they will have had an opportunity to get to know me and I won't just be a name on a piece of paper the next time I apply for a job in that part of town. :)


So much to do before I start but I honestly feel that God has restored ( in part ) what I have lost. And He has plans in the works for the rest.


I'm excited. :)


xMiss365

-277 Work took over this week

Photo by luigi diamanti

Quite simply work took over this week and I chained myself to my computer a lot and tried to get a whole stack of programming and Uni work done. I have one subject left to complete my Masters and 2 assessments to go so I thought I'd better get cracking on it. I drank far too much coffee *mmm Cherry Lattes * and diet coke and watched eps of The Big Bang Theory & How I Met Your Mother as I worked constantly.....

Thanks for your prayers regarding my last post. As of yet I still haven't been called about that appointment nor do I know exactly what the issue is about. I have however spoken to that person on a different topic and it wasn't brought up so I have no idea when or even if it's going to happen. It's almost like I've been waiting for the guillotine to fall this week but since Friday afternoon and having a good conversation with Dependable Dad about it all I am less anxious about it and the longer it takes for this appointment to be made the more I believe it must be a reaction to something rather than a real ongoing important issue. 

Hopefully I'll hear about those two jobs I applied for this week. That might be my out. :)

Have also made some interesting connections with my pruning and shall get to that post soonish. 

 

Gotta get to bed. Church tomorrow. :)

xMiss365

-278 More pruning?

Not going to write anything much tonight. All I am going to say is that it appears my work issues that I thought had been put to rest late last year apparently have not. I'm not sure what it's all about just yet as I haven't really been informed properly but the worry, anxiety and sadness this is causing me makes me wish I had never had opened my mouth in first place. I haven't handled all of it particularly well in the past in retrospect but I honestly thought making a firm break between work and personal would help. 

It doesn't seem like a coincidence now that since I calmly set the record straight the other day it seems there may be some kind of consequence for that. It's just speculation. I could be completely wrong since I don't actually know what's going on but I do know that I will be requested for a meeting sometime in the future and it has something to do with my personal/work relationship with a particular person. 

I'm not looking for answers or comments on this post tonight and I do know it's a big downer post and quite cryptic but I do want to be honest about my life as a single person too. There are going to be nights where we ( us single people particularly those who live alone ) who come home from work and find it hard because there is no one to talk or vent to or get a hug off or distract us from work problems so sometimes on nights like tonight they weigh more heavily than they should. Tonight is a night like that for me. 

I'm sure it will all work out but it's all just too complicated at the moment. 

Trusting God. Big time. :)

xMiss365

-289 Migraine Monday

I had such a big day at work today and worked through until about 6pm. It was The Non Bachelor's birthday so we talked on the phone for about an hour and not surprisingly he told me that he's met someone. Why is it so easy for guys? And why does it seem easy for them to meet women who are open to Christianity and going to Church to meet women outside of Church ?  I think, no I know, I need to get out more. ;)

Bachelor #4 made mention in an email that out emails were getting long so I suggested we Skpe. Still no word from him although he has commented on my Facebook status's and stuff so it's not like he hasn't been on. Not analyzing - I'm just not making excuses for him. I don't think he's interested in getting to know me beyond emailing I guess. Not giving up on him but I'm considering taking back his Bachelor status ;)

Can feel a migraine on it's way but I'm not going to accept it and succumb to it's sleepy pull. Normal bedtime for me tonight. 

xMiss365

-342 Such a non day

Such a non eventful day today. 

• Traffic was irritating. Jason Falkner took care of that. Made it less so. Thanks Jason ;)
• I did some admin work. I tried not to fuss around and see what Oprah was up to with her first Sydney show online. 
• I ate lunch unenthusiastically. I ate chocolate less unenthusiastically. ;)
• Did some more admin work that may involve receiving money a little later down the track so was slightly more motivated to get it done.
• May have checked out what Oprah was up to online again. 
• Went shopping after work to buy some shorts in my new size ( cannot believe that I am in a new size already and buying shorts! Not short shorts but shorts all the same!)
• Also bought new drinking glasses, a pair of shoes and a card and ribbon for Polly Pocket's 7th birthday tomorrow :)
• Have fussed around at home cleaning up a bit and decluttering, have eaten dinner and now about to go to bed. Helping to supervise 90 screaming kids on their last day of school tomorrow at a pool party before our long 5 week holidays. Cannot wait until Friday 3.15pm when I am FREE for 5 weeks ! Hurrah !

xMiss365

Edit - Have realised for such a non day I have fussed a lot. Lol ! 

-355 Photo montage

FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Yesterday's work issue has spilled over to today (let's be real, this work issue has been going on for four years. I'm just out of denial in the past few months.) again as I am about to leave work 'What's up with that?!' I'm still too wound up to be thoughtful or share 'I'm afraid that I'll share too much so it's better if I keep my words under lock and key today. I am praying and seeking God for wisdom and peace.I'm doing ok, just need to breathe.'

Inspired or shamelessly taken ( however you wish to put it - lol !) from Jeanine's blog HERE (and on my list of faves to the right) under the alias of Miss365 but still being true to myself I have made my own photo montage.

1. First name : Miss365
2. Favourite food : potatoes
3. Favourite colour : Blue
4. Dream house : Beach house
5. Ideal job : my job ( in theory - lol ! )
6. Favourite superhero : Wonderwoman
7. Favourite holiday :Easter 
8. Favourite book : Ramona the Pest
9. Favourite outside activity : Watching fireworks on the beach

Photos on Flickr. Mosaic made using Mosaic Maker.

xMiss365