-293 My List or The List or What do you have on your list? ( Thursday 24th February, 2011 )

"So what's on YOUR LIST Miss 365? You know if you write a list of everything you want in a man and pray about it then God will give you that man and you'll live happily ever after....I wrote a list and I got everything on my list and now we live so happy together"

Blerg.

Sorry if I sound bitter. I'm not. I just hate that 'Write a list and that's how God will introduce you to the man you will wed" mentality. 

And yes, I have written lists over the years and so have some of my friends. From memory I think I've only read Bestest Bud's list and despite her's being somewhat lengthy it was character based rather than physicality based. Oh, and yes Bonsai Master did fit her list - although true to God form not in the way you would have pictured him - at all. Lol. 

I've come across a few of these lists over the past few weeks when doing some decluttering and while some of them made me laugh because I obviously wrote them mid crush - they did have a few things in common. So perhaps I do still have an 'inner list' which I guess isn't a bad thing. 

So after a little reflection and listening to that 'still small voice of God' basically my list is....

• A man after God's own heart
• A man who loves me and wants to create an incredible life with me
• A man whose face lights up when I walk into a room
• A man who has a destiny and purpose and who wants to make a difference & loves the same in me
• A man who gives good hugs and has a kissable face ( kissable face has nothing to do with looks but that I am attracted to him because of who he is )
• A man that wants to have a  good home, work, church, fun balance in his life
• A man who is steady but can be somewhat flexible and spontaneous too ( he'll need to be in order to cope with me ! )
• A man that I can have fun with, laugh with and while be my 'best friend' still get that I need my girlfriends ( because he'll understand that I need to talk shoes, analyze relationships and work goings on etc and it will be in his best interests ! Lol )
• A man that wants kids, would like to try to have kids, but won't walk away if we can't have kids. 

Now while not necessarily on my 'list' as such I would really like it if we had music, similar taste in comedy and traveling in common. But it would be excellent if we had a whole range of other differences as well -  like if he was better with money than I was (but not a total scrooge!), not a teacher ( boring! I know far too many teachers already - I need variety! ) and is accepting of people and where they are at. 


So that's my list really and sits in the back of my head only to pop up every now and then and remind me of it's existence. I don't think it's unrealistic and I'm not actively seeking the points on the list like a checklist every time I meet someone. For me I believe it's more a way of keeping my heart guarded and a reminder of what I really am seeking rather than if I am just settling out of loneliness. 


Ok, my regular commenters or commenter :).... and those of you that lurk - out yourself and comment on this one ! Be kind though ! This is after all from my heart and I bruise easily you know ! ;)


xMiss365

-299 The reasons I've been MIA are many ( Thursday 17th February 2011 )

Photo by Keattikorn

So it only took me 65 days to fall over in the daily blog - well if you knew Miss365 in person you may have been surprised that it took that long ! 

But seriously in the last month I have had two lost weekends of full on migraines, been back at work, applied for a short term job and been offered a completely different one and had to make a decision over the weekend ( I regretfully turned it down ), made slight progress with Bachelor #4 ( yes there will be an update ), spent time with The Real Ex whom from now on will be called The Non Bachelor ( because despite our renewed friendship and our ability to hang out together he will never make it onto the Bachelor list with a number next to his name! ) and had the single blues fairly hard after holding a close friend's day old beautiful baby girl. 

Rather than give up on this blog or madly try and catch up I'm just going to continue where I left off. I've been chained so hard to my computer at work during the day the past few weeks that by the time I've come home the last thing I've wanted to do was sit down and write a new blog post but I was driving home tonight and I felt that wanting to sign in and see what you've all been doing and to update this chronicle of my single life. 

I am encouraged at how positive the start of 2011 has been already. It feels like a year of adventure and I am determined to listen to that 'still small voice'. Bring it on!

PS -315 Thai Food & Long Lazy Chats has now been recovered and updated to it's full post glory. :)

xMiss365

-312 & -311 Freaking out in the natural but my spirit is at peace - go figure! ( Sunday 16th & Monday 17th January 2011 )

Photo by anankkml

So for the past two days I have been entered in that time honoured battle of Self vs Serving with a side order of God holding back on a few details ;)

Basically here it is. Hopefully you've already read my post #9 365 Good Things (if not follow the link and then come back) and so you would know that I am staying with a lady that I don't actually know that opened up her home to anyone who felt lead to help. That would be me. 

Now I did a bit of Googling and immediately found one particular Church that seemed to be doing a fair bit of purposeful, coordinated effort to help with the situation. Time and time again I kept coming back to this particular church. After doing some mapping a little while later I found out their campus was about 20 minutes away from where I would be staying but their 'hubs' were all over the suburbs of Brisbane. Ok, I think I am meant to connect with this Church in some way. Got it God. 

Once I started to look seriously at the public transport situation and realised that it wasn't going to be easy to get around and also a bunch of emails flooded my inbox and facebook warning me that there were more than enough voluneteers up there already etc etc. I started to feel a bit silly and anxious about what I had done. I had already booked flights that I can't really afford ( well, I can but it's taken a fair bit of juggling and no safety net for at least a month ) and not knowing for sure if I would be a help or just floundering around the suburbs of Brisbane - well as you can understand the battle between the still small voice and the clanging loud one ( including mine ) has been rather exhausting. 

So I am in Church yesterday and had only earlier finished sharing this with a friend when I received a message from the lady I am staying with. It turns out that she had only just noticed that I had said that I was feeling like I was meant to connect with this particular church. Well of course - out of all the Churches in Brisbane ( and there are many of many different denominations ) it is her Church. 

I have my confirmation.

But sadly that hasn't stopped the anxiety off and on today. Not knowing is a hard concept. Not knowing the who, what, where, when etc when I have had to be in control at home and at work for so long is a hard concept to grasp. And I am a fairly laid back person. I just feel freaked stepping out in faith like this for such a small thing - I am in my own country ! Where they speak my language ! I would make a shockingly poor missionary !

I'm sure once I am there and I have an opportunity to talk to my new friend and to figure out the best way around I will feel less anxious and it will all fall into place but for now I am just trusting and hoping not to make a fool of myself by going. After all I shared this story with Devoted Dad hoping that he will see God in this and make a decision for Jesus. 

Faithful in the little. :)

xMiss365

-323 Pelicans in Chicago? ( Monday 3rd January 2011 )

Well no. ;)

This morning The Holiday House felt a little empty. The Blue Smurf had left to go to work on Friday night, The Crazy Med Student had left on Saturday night to work on Sunday morning ( that was my surprise when I didn't realise that she wasn't coming back for the remainder of the holiday ) and then early this morning The Princess & The American Boy left early to attend a brunch being held for overseas friends that they wouldn't see for a long time. 

So it was just myself, Bestest Bud, Bonsai Master & Such A Boy ( Polly Pocket was with her Grandparents for the duration of the holiday as her cousins were visiting ). I think we had our fill of lazing around and the weather definately wasn't consistent beach weather so we hopped in the car at about lunch time and headed down the coast a bit to see some Pelican feeding and have lunch ( and ice cream & then dinner..again I digress ) ;)

It was while we were watching Such A Boy have fun on the Merry Go Round on the waterfront that Miss Chicago rang and confirmed our catch up plans for Thursday. Yay! I was so looking forward to seeing her and catching up with her before we met at Bestest Bud/Bonsai Master's place so she could also see them & the kids ( I'd already decided that I would give her time on her own to catch up with them before I went over there to be fair). Being able to talk to her about my life freely ( even for an hour ) was something exciting to look forward to. And it wasn't just the 'single person who gets it' aspect either ( even though she does ). It was the fact although she knew all the work people & issues she was far enough away from it for me to feel free enough to 'breathe' around her or just not compromise her loyalties in a big way like I do with half the world most of the time ( if that makes any sense - probably not ! Lol ! )

So I wasn't prepared for the wave of sadness that washed over me when Such A Boy and I were watching the Pelican's coming in for their trained feed on the waterfront. I looked around at one point and saw all the holiday couples with their kids of varying ages and while Such A Boy decided that he wanted to hug and hang with me for the duration of the Pelican feeding - he is not mine and for a bit I felt selfishly sad that I still didn't have that family of my own that I have always wanted. 

I tried to listen to that still, small voice. And while God didn't say or do anything in particular at that moment, that wave of sadness did pass when Such A Boy said something funny about the Pelicans in his own special way and I just let it go and enjoyed the rest of my day. As you do.

As I will keep on doing because it's only a small part of my life in the big picture. And honestly I am blessed to have those lovely moments with Such A Boy ( and Polly Pocket ) because they love me and I am Aunty "Miss365". And if I keep my hope then maybe I will be one of those couples one day with the kids watching some Pelicans responding like Pavlovs dogs to a specific feeding time to entertain the holiday masses ;)

xMiss365