A (somewhat) honest look at what it's like to be a single, Christian woman in her mid 30s in Sydney who wants to remain true to the life that God has planned for her but doesn't want to let go of her dream of being in a relationship again and eventually being a wife and mother

Thursday, 20 October 2011

So what's been happenin' Miss365?

Well yes. It has been a while. I have been thinking of you all and I have actually checked in a bit and had a peek at your blogs. I just couldn't bring myself to write anything about being single or my life here over these past 7 weeks. 

The best thing I have done in these past 7 weeks is not do any online dating at all. 

Ok. Well I did check into one former site when they gave me some free time. And I did find an email from a member about something random addressing something from a forum post from ages ago which sparked a four day conversation about music and fitness. But I had no illusions and once my time was up it was done. I didn't pay for the site to continue the conversation and he didn't ask for my details so I was able to leave it at that. 

So why was I able to leave it so easily? I mean this guy....smokin' hot. The former Miss365's mindset would think and possibly articulate "Out of her league" but Miss365 has had her butt in the gym for the past 6 weeks and if it's not already up there check out how much I've melted off my bod with clean eating and learning how to run.  The Miss365 now was thinking "Smokin' hot but I really don't have time for this." I know!

I have no time to think about men or boys for that matter when I am either cooking, exercising or wishing that my body wasn't quite so sore after exercising but secretly liking it because I know I've actually done some hard work. 



Which actually isn't a bad question really.

God has been quite persistent in getting me to work on this anxiety thing. He is way past the pruning stage and now has the root killer out. We are getting to root of the matter.

And it's surprising what is coming up. And who, how and where these revelations are taking place. 

I'm still a mess. My home is a bomb site. How Clean Is Your House would have a double epsisode here but not as many pots are rattling anymore. And when they start I have enough knowledge now to begin to think about what just "turned the heat up" and started them going. 

It's quite freeing really. Still very noisy inside my head at times. But now that I am listening to the rattling it's easier to work out why it's happening in the first place. Sometimes I can stop it with a scripture, other times a song of praise and other times just a stern word to myself to "Cut it out." Lol. 

I'm soooo happy in my job and praying that I can stay. It's unlikely because of reshuffling at a system level but I have enough support where I am at and with several people of influence that maybe, just maybe I will be able to stay. I figure that God gave me this "out" from that situation before - He's got this one covered too. :)

I've missed writing this blog but I needed to step back and concentrate on other stuff for a bit. I'm hoping that I'll be posting a couple of times a week again. 

Now I'm off to check out what you've been up to! :)


Sunday, 9 October 2011

-236 A short heartfelt post

To those of you whom have left comments and sent me emails.

Thank you.

Thank you for your prayers, your words, your thoughts and for taking the time to notice I was AWOL with this blog writing. Your words were like a shower of glitter that blessed my heart when I finally logged into my email and read them.

Today was the first Sunday that God didn't deal with me in His persistently persistent way that I didn't have tears streaming down my face at least once today so the changes that have happened in the past 6 or so weeks have obviously made some difference.

There is still a fair bit of anxiety and obviously a fair bit of avoidance going on but I really believe that one of the things that has helped a lot is signing off from the online dating for a while and working on my fitness and nutrition.

I'll come back in the next day or so and write an updated post but now that I feel that I can write about being single and living this life again from this perspective and be honest about it  - I'm back. :)

Again your comments and emails made my heart sing more than you can imagine. I never would have thought that God could build a community like this so quickly and one that cares so genuinely, particularly since most of us have no idea what we all look like. ;)



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