A (somewhat) honest look at what it's like to be a single, Christian woman in her mid 30s in Sydney who wants to remain true to the life that God has planned for her but doesn't want to let go of her dream of being in a relationship again and eventually being a wife and mother

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

-356 Thank God for Wii Boxing

Photo by xedos4
Yes. Thank God for Wii Boxing. And I don't mean that irreverently. I am thankful. 

Living on my own and after coming home angry ( yes angry ) after something that I had not been able to shake off  despite praying and talking to God pretty much non stop on the drive home I turned to my Wii to offload some of that pent up emotional energy. Since I am unable ( due to the confidential and private nature of what made me angry in the first place ) to call a friend and talk about it or just process it by communicating with someone I had to work out a way to move past the immediate feeling without it ruining the rest of the evening ahead ( a night out celebrating Christmas - yep I know ! November ! - with some of the ladies at Church ). I made a choice not to comfort eat or have a nap but to switch on the Wii Active and do 30mins of boxing. 

I am now calm and although the problem hasn't gone away and if my mind strays towards what made me angry in the first place the emotions bubble to the surface again, I am better equipped to stop these thoughts in their tracks by purposely praying for the situation and for this person (even though that is still hard at the moment ). 

So this has me thinking. Will this change when I get married ? Will the temptation to just process my emotions verbally be my go-to deal just because there will be someone to bounce this off even if he doesn't necessarily want to listen he will have a ring on his left hand so he will be obligated to at least nod once in a while - right? ;)

For those of you that live alone like me, what do you do when you come home from work or have a testing situation ? Do you immediately turn to friends or family and talk it out ? Do you take yourself to a quiet place that is special just to you ? Do you do a RPM or a Pump class and sweat it out ? Or a combination of all these things ? What's your thing to do when you've prayed and talked to God but the emotions and energy is still hanging around ?


Monday, 29 November 2010

-357 What is it about a man in uniform?!

Now despite the fact I have heard stories about 000 parties and I have a cousin who is a policeman -  I still have a thing for a man in uniform. Namely firemen and policemen. I have never had much of a thing for Paramedics but since The Crazy Med Student is married to The Blue Smurf (who is a Paramedic) they have definitely gone down the list to number 3. ;)

As I am locking my garage door earlier this evening a police car pulls into the driveway and drives past me. Now yes, perhaps I do look up and perhaps I am slightly pleased I am feeling a little cute today in my new skirt. Meh. I am single. As if you wouldn't!  And there's more. Quit reading now if you get embarrassed by obvious single girl behaviour ;)

So I go upstairs and 'Oh look at that. I have rubbish to be taken out to the bins. And I really do need to get the mail' ( Ok. That last bit is true. The mailboxes are on the other side of the complex and I am inherently lazy and it's been a number of days since my last visit...but I digress...)

Rubbish bags in hand I make my way down the short flight of stairs and as I open the security door who is there but the two cops pressing the buzzer for one of the units in my section of the complex. :)

Miss365 - Smiles ( possibly like a goon )
Policeman A - young, cute " Hello you !"
Policeman B - also young and cute ( Showing me MORE love God?! ) " And we meet again. Thanks for letting us in."  
Miss365 - Continues to smile like a goon "Most of the buzzers don't work. Depends on who you want to see."....pause. A rational thought appears in her head finally. " It's not me is it?" 
Policeman B " Depends. What number do you live in ?" 
Miss365 " ## " 
Policeman B " Then no. Not this time." Smiles like a goon but a cute goon. And stands there. 
Miss365 smiles and starts to make her way to the bins. Still smiling like a goon.
Policeman A " Come on [Insert real name of Policeman B here] let's go."
Policeman B to Miss365 " See ya. Stay out of trouble. Or I'll have to come back."

Hmmm dilemmas. How much trouble would I have to get into ? What would constitute as trouble ? How would I make sure Policeman B would return to make sure that I stayed out of trouble ?

Things to ponder....lol.




Sunday, 28 November 2010

-358 You Have Mail !

Photo by jscreationzs
Now I'm not sure what you do when you first wake up but this morning before I even got out of bed I had received an email notification on my iphone alerting me to the fact I had mail at The Dating Site That Shall Not Be Named. Exciting !

I logged on and  opened the app praying that it wasn't one of those strangely worded ones that I know are not genuine. It wasn't. 

It was from a girl. ;)

She did apologise for the email coming from a girl not a guy and said that since I had viewed her profile ( whoops - random iphone flicking late last night - didn't actually look at her profile just clicked on her name for a second, obviously long enough to establish that I had checked her out ! Lol ! ) but said that she wanted to send me a message of encouragement from one girl to another. 

Before I get to what she sent me I truly believe that God was speaking to me today through what she sent. It was exactly what I needed to hear from Him for the weeks and months that have been hard lately where there have been changes and hard decisions made, where I have felt lied to and manipulated and unheard, times where I have felt so alone and particularly when I was waiting to find out what my diagnosis was having to be strong and look after everyone else and crying out to God for someone to look after me that I didn't have to look after, the times where I doubted my integrity and belief that I had listened and heard His voice when I asked for guidance because His directions hurt, and the many good times in between that were so wonderful that I began to just think I was just being the biggest drama queen in the world because if the good times were this good wouldn't it be easier to to just hold onto those? ( Apparently not ! Thanks God ! )  

But parts of today weren't easy as well. A sudden onset of vertigo/imbalance ,  nausea and body pain hit me hard just as the Church service started this morning. I was singing. So I took off my shoes, held onto the mic, closed my eyes so my brain wouldn't keep getting tricked by the difference in what it would 'see' compared to what it was 'feeling', remembered my attitude of Thanksgiving and seeing the blessings in all things and just worshiped. The funny thing is when this happens to me the tears just fall down my face (I've been told it's like going into shock because it happens so suddenly and it's my body's way of release ) so I must've looked really in His presence this morning! ;)

So after the service, receiving some prayer, going home and taking some new medication and all the while thanking God for finally being diagnosed with silent migraines (after more than 16 years of trying to work out what was going on with my body), prevention medication that has changed my life and now new pain medication that is a miracle of healing in itself I opened my iphone to read this encouragement once again. 

It can be found on several websites I found it here but I've copied it below. I love how these words can be written by a person, posted on a blog, sent to me via an email but spoken into my heart by my Father who knows when I need to hear His voice in a way that I cannot ignore or doubt. 

Thank you Jesus. And thank you fellow singleton on The Dating Website That Shall Not Be Named for being obedient to His guiding in sending this to me last night. :)


My Precious Daughter (A love letter from God to His Daughters)

My precious daughter,
I will never leave you,
I will never forsake you,
I will be faithful until the end,
You are more than just "my daughter"
You are my princess,
My beloved, my delight,
I rejoice in you,
You are beautiful,
You shine with light,
You have dove's eyes,
I rejoice in you with singing,
I will quiet you with my love,
Hold you in my arms,
Never let you go,
For you are never alone,
You never have been alone,
I've been with you all along,
Your whole life,

I understand your pain,
My sacrifice wasn't for nothing,
Let me tell you I understand your confusion,
I understand your anger and frustration,
I understand your tears,
And I care,
Very much,
For you,
Everything that is important to you,
Is important to me too,
My love for you will never end,
I will not leave you for another,
I will not abandon you ever,
No matter how far you go,
My love will never end.

I have examined you heart,
I know everything about you,
When you sit down or stand up,
I know your thoughts,
Even when you are far away,
I see you when you travel,
Or when you rest at home,
I see the tears that fall from your eyes,
I see the heartache in your home,
Believe me I know the lies,
I know the temptations,
But I am here,
I know what you are going to say,
Even before you say it.
I go before you and follow,
I place my hand of blessing on your head,
Such knowledge is beyond comprehension,
It is too wonderful for you to understand,
You can never escape from my Spirit,
You can never get away from my presence!
If you go up to heaven, I am there;
If you go down to the grave, I am there.
If you ride the wings of the morning,
If you dwell by the farthest oceans,
Even there my hand will guide you,
And my strength will support you.

You could ask the darkness to hide you,
And the light around you to become night,
But even in darkness you cannot hide from me,
To me night shine as day,
Darkness and light are the same to me,
I made all the delicate, inner parts of your body,
I made your heart,
I know what makes you hurt,
I know what makes you cry,
I know what makes you tick,
I know when breaks your heart the most,
And I know how to comfort you,
I know how to make you smile,
I know how to love you,
I know how to be a daddy who loves,
Such a beautiful daughter like you,
You long for acceptance,
When you were already accepted into my family,
You are fearfully and wonderfully made,
I love you more than you know,
I will fill your heart with the love and peace you long for,
I saw you before you were born,
I knit you together in your mother's womb,
Even then I loved you,
And I was proud of you,
And I thought of you as my beautiful daughter, my princess,
Everyday of your life is recorded in my book,
Every moment was laid out,
Every moment that would bring you joy,
Every moment that would bring you pain.

My thoughts about you are precious,
They cannot be numbered,
They out number the grains of sand,
And when you wake up in the morning,
I am still with you,
I love you more than you know,
You are beautiful to me,
Even though you feel something is always wrong,
Just look into my eyes,
See how I see you,
A beautiful princess,
With beautiful eyes that shine with my love and my light,
I love you,
And I will say it again,
I love you,
My princess, my beloved,
My precious daughter,

I love you,
I love you,
I love you.

Don't give up,
For I see the brokenness in your families,
In your friendships,
I see the pain in your eyes,
Your beautiful heart,
That used to be so filled joy,
Is now crushed beneath your burdens,
But you're still beautiful to me,
So beautiful to me,
I will heal you and restore you once again,

My precious daughter,
I will never leave you,
I will never forsake you,
I will be faithful until the end,

Faithful until the end...

Your loving Father and Daddy, Prince of Peace, King of Glory,

Saturday, 27 November 2010

-359 We don't have Thanksgiving (officially) in Australia but....

It's Saturday night and yes I am on my new lounge again but today was a busy one so it's a welcome blobbing night :)

Today God gently held my hand and led me on a treasure hunt of unexpected blessings that were sprinkled throughout my day like glitter. I love days like this but I love it more when I recognise them and I am smart enough to be thankful for them. ;)

My friend The Princess is married to American Boy and roasted her first Turkey for their first Aussie based Thanksgiving yesterday as a newly married couple ( yes a day late ). It apparently took a fair bit of work to roast a turkey in coming - into- summer 27degree Sydney weather for 5 or so hours but by all reports it looked amazing and tasted great. And everyone was thankful. :)

Now I didn't eat turkey tonight ( however I now know what a Turturkeykey is - thanks HIMYM! ) but today after the day God gave me I am blessed/thankful for :
  • The sunlight that woke me up this morning and the promise of a migraine free day.
  • The clothes I wore for my fabulous day today. New size. Feeling less of a disconnection bit by bit. 
  • Walking into my Church for an unexpected worship team practice and loving the beautiful harmonies and vocals that were happening but most of all being so grateful to be part of a team that loves to worship God even when practicing.
  • Chatting with L after practice and getting some good tips about dental plans. Seriously good tips :)
  • Lunch with another L friend who just filled my soul with kind words, wisdom, laughter, support, a listening ear and blessed me by sneakily paying for lunch. I tried to outsmart her on that but she outsmarted me! I've been going through a hard time with something we have been connected with and to be told by her that she is proud of me for the way I have handled things and not let it destroy friendships, reputations or me in the process just felt like God was also letting me know that He was proud of me too. I've doubted at times if I've been a bit tough on people or not compassionate enough or too selfish. And then as we were leaving He ( through something L said ) gave me the prayer point I have been searching in order to pray for this person whom I have been hurt by. Blessed. Thankful. 
  • That my 92 year old Grandmother came through her operation to have her broken wrist set and has stopped freaking out and is resting in hospital. And thankful that Marvelous Mum is finding her inner strength after all these years of thinking that she had none and couldn't deal with life outside of the house.
Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 

Part of my definition of prayer is my personal communication with God. He speaks. I listen. He speaks more than I listen. He patiently repeats Himself until I listen. ;)

Photo by luigi diamanti
 I want to live a life where I am not oblivious to the blessings, both big and small and be thankful for them. The thing is - they are always there. Just like glitter. Use a glitter for any purpose at all and I guarantee you'll be finding bits of glitter in your hair, on your face, under your feet, in your bed for months later. 

As I write this I just looked down at my hands. I have not used glitter at all today, this week, this month ( that I recall ). Guess what I can see ? ;)

Glitter to the naked eye. But do you know what I see ? 

Blessings :)


Friday, 26 November 2010

-360 Friday nights alright

Photo by Suat Eman
Well fellow 365'ers - we'll get back to how I found God's hand in my unexpected friendship with The Real Ex in the not to distant future. I promise ;)

But here we are on our first Friday night together. Yay! Someone to share it with! 

No it's not that bad really. Until recently I was part of a team that lead a Kids Church in a low socio economic area every Friday night during school terms. For reasons I will never discuss on here I reluctantly stepped down and found myself free on a Friday night for the first time in about 8 years. My closest friends ( both geographically and friendship-wise ) are still involved so Friday nights are just me and the TV. 

Tonight I am :
  • Catching up on reading some blogs I am following
  • Cooking dinner - Chili con carne & salsa, fresh strawberries & diet mousse for dessert ( yep diet city here )
  • Currently watching Better Homes and Gardens and getting inspired for Christmas Eve at my place
  • Waiting to hear if my 92 year old Grandmother has been operated on yet. She fell and broke her wrist at 9pm last night and still hasn't been seen yet despite being incoherent and thrashing about in pain so bad she cannot have a drip in her arm. Prayers would be lovely if you are reading this now. 
  • Also waiting on a phone call from a friend who incorrectly put the date in her phone for my birthday celebration last week and did not show up . We are going to have lunch tomorrow instead. 
  • I am going to catch up on TV shows I have IQed
  • Also going to ignore the washing up and put a load of washing in the washer/dryer. 
  • Go to bed at about 11pm as I have a 9am appointment that I have to be up at about 7.45ish for.
  • I have randomly burst into song at various points during the evening and The Cat Empire has been fed and has been "put to bed" in the spare room as he was running around like a mad thing ( I thought the TV was going to be knocked over!)
And there is my night. Not particularly amazing. Oh and I adore my new lounge! Love love love love !!!!!! Worth staying at home for !


Thursday, 25 November 2010

-361 A slight fake out

Photo by Boaz Yiftach
I was going to blog about the fact after almost 10 years of no communication The Real Ex stalked me...ok, saw me driving one afternoon and tracked me down politely via my parent's phone number and we've slowly become friends over the past few years.

I was going to talk about how I can see God through the fact that he was the one who cheered me up on my birthday when he called me and that despite me being convinced he was pretty much evil ( no not really but close ! Lol! ) while praying for him through gritted teeth that he would come back to God for years - he actually is a nice guy. Just not the right guy for me. But I'm thankful to God for bringing him back into my life. 

But....I have a migraine. And I'm off to take a Nanna nap. And I'm pretty sure I won't make sense when I wake up ;)

Ahhh. One of the joys of being single. Can Nanna naps at 6pm after coming home from work and not have to worry about feeding anyone else and I can sleep through to morning if I wish. And not make sense before, during and after a migraine because I live alone :)

See you on day -360. My first Friday night blog posting ! 


Wednesday, 24 November 2010

-362 It all started with a yellow ribbon

For me as soon as that yellow ribbon was pinned onto me (not once but twice) when I was 7 and 8 years old my disconnection with my body began. Just like Peter Pan's disconnection with his shadow.And in a similar way it taunts me just like Peter's shadow did in his story.

And so began the seed of shame. It took a long time to grow but because that seed was planted in me, any comment ( large, small, deliberate, implied, miscomunicated or just plan old mean ) allowed that seed to grow and eventually sprout off little branches and grow roots that affected every area of my life. 

I've started to realise that over the past almost 30 years of my life that little seed of shame grew into a deceitful tree called "I don't deserve....". Let me give you some examples. At various times in my life I have thought.

I don't deserve...
  • To be treated with respect ( because I am ashamed )
  • To have someone that I find attractive say that they find me attractive as well ( because I am ashamed )
  • To ask for help when I need it I should be independent and not be a burden on people ( because I am ashamed )
  • To say that I am hurt when my feelings are hurt ( because I am ashamed )
  • A body that I am proud of ( because I am ashamed - I am really ashamed because even though I do exercise and eat well most of the time I can't do it for more than a few months and end up back where I started, then I'm just lazy and having Nanna naps every afternoon, tired and eating random stuff. I am ashamed because I have no self control. I like the first lot of the fruits of the Spirit. But the sense of shame I get whenever I hear or have to teach on the fruits ( Galatians 5:22 ) just brings me deeper down again and more disconnected with myself. )
And so the cycle continued. 

It was only in the past couple of months as I was laid down in green pastures for my soul to be restored that God gave me an answer to the last point above. And while for the most part self control has played a bit of a part it was also a medical issue ( probably the only one that I haven't been tested for in the past 15 years !) and is now getting under control. But it's also highlighted how disconnected and how much shame has permeated nearly every area of my life.

And I don't like it. It's deceitful and I honestly thought I had dealt with this about 5 or so years ago. I think I may have lopped off a few branches but now it's time to get the chainsaw and root killer out and get rid of this tree for good. Maybe then I will be less guarded and more like myself when I meet guys that I don't know. *shrug*  It also makes me wonder what my relationship with The Real Ex might have been like if shame hadn't been my shadow. Not that I am pining over him (that was soooo 7 or 8 years ago - lol !) but I wonder how different I would be if that seed hadn't grown at such a young age. 

I do know though if I am blessed enough to have a daughter she won't be doing ballet exams if she has my body type (not a long limbed, slender, bird-like, ballerina frame - I was more suited to contemporary ) and being pinned with that yellow ribbon and knowing why.


Tuesday, 23 November 2010

-363 No rose for me

Photo Pixomar
Farewell Bachelor #1.  And there goes 2 months of my life. But it was fun. For a while. And then....

...well it wasn't sad or horrible. It didn't feel like a break up. And you gave me an opportunity to practice a skill don't extend often enough. But *sigh* all the same because for at least for the first month of us chatting and emailing every day, despite me being on my guard with my personal information and yes perhaps in retrospect just a little too guarded - but who can tell when you are just words on a screen and a photo ( and not even a proper face view photo - but that's another issue altogether  ) despite myself I shared with my friends the fact I was talking with you. And that it brought a smile to my face.

But then your emails became short and lacking in the question mark department. I knew that your studies were taking up a lot of your time so I made allowances for you. However, it then became quite obvious that your interest in getting to know me had decreased dramatically and I ( being the single gal that I am ) quickly looked through the saved messages and chats to look for a sign or a reason and found none.

I had been laid down in green pastures ( Psalm 23 ) recently and God had been teaching me in amongst the resting to speak up when I am not sure why someone has pulled away or changed the status of a friendship or relationship.

Let's pause a minute.

He wants me to what?!!! Ask him why the communication has slowed down ? Essentially to encourage him to reject me ? To change the status quo ? ( Ok, to be out of denial that things had changed?! ) Gah!

So Bachelor #1 you got my carefully worded email. And then you Instant messaged me as I was writing it which made me rush the ending somewhat. I thought ( silly me ! ) that we would continue IMing and maybe discuss it a bit ( eeek! ) but you then disappeared. Not just mid conversation but for a week. My email wasn't that confronting was it?!

Apparently it was ( to you anyway - not to the couple of people I showed in panic, remember I don't do this kind of stuff so I have no idea how to ask someone why they have slowed down the emailing and if they are still interested in continuing ) because you changed your profile on the website where we first 'met'. It appears you took my wondering if you still were interested and letting you know if you "meet" someone else you want to get to know better don't be to weirded out to let me know as someone who doesn't trust her man, or trust God or His plan and wisdom etc. 

Oh dear.

Ok, so I gave it just on a week for you to reply to my email. Or my offline IM. Still nothing. Really? And hey, now I have my out.
But God started to gently poke me again so I wrote another carefully worded email asking for a reply, explaining that while I will respond to other requests for chats and emails from other Bachelors I am the type of person who only likes to persue one potential interest at a time etc. And...send. :)

So thank you for your reply Bachelor #1 I am happy to chat to you to but I discovered after our IM last night (after you replied to my email that you weren't really interested in getting to know me any further ) that my interest in getting to know you has decreased dramatically now that I know you aren't interested in getting to know me. I have no idea why you initiated the chat in the first place tonight (guilt perhaps?) but I sincerely thank you for providing me with the opportunity to be a little direct when there the opportunity for rejection.

So Bachelor #2 hurry up and get over your jet lag and contact me so we can have that coffee and Bachelor #3 I am going to have to work out a whole new plan of how to get to know you as we have to work around your 'label'  but you are right - you are worth getting to know ;)


Monday, 22 November 2010


So what is a SASFAR?

Single And Single For A Reason.

Now there are many reasons why someone might get to my age and still be unmarried and single. Sometimes it may be because they have spent many years waiting for a particular man to wake up and realise what was under his nose the whole time and been left crying into their pillow when he's gone and married another. Or it could be because in their twenties they thought that the stream of male attention would never end and the tap would never stop running until one day it did. Or perhaps the reason could simply be that they are painfully shy and find it hard to converse with the opposite sex and have never learned how to make that connection go any further.

And then there are the reasons that we as women sometimes perceive as being the reasons like being not pretty enough, or smart enough, or thin enough, or blonde enough, or brunette enough, or submissive enough or witty enough, or Proverbs 31 womanish enough  or whatever enough......

.....on and on and on.

So if you are me and you are in your mid thirties and single ( and haven't been kissed I might add ) for over a decade, in a career where men are scarce, a Church that is not full of single, available men of similar marriageable age, not in a social group of friends that are either in a similar situation or lovingly, carefully and wisely introduce you to single, available men of marriagable age that you have something in common with other than "He's single, Christian and about your age" ( wait for an upcoming post on that one! ) what do you do ?

Online Christian dating.

Now before I start my official post between SASFAR and men on online Christian ( or any I suspect ) dating sites can I please state that "God I do not remember, recall or intended to ask you to give me experiences in developing patience! I am a teacher. Of children with learning difficulties. Please! Isn't that patience development enough?!"

*sigh* Ok. On with my post.

For this round of online Christian dating ( I so dislike that word dating - must be the Aussie in me ) I joined up for only one site rather than several and was only going to pay for one month. Hilariously I signed up for a year. Accidently. Hilarious.

Ok, fine. I thought. This could be good. It will give me a year of giving this thing a proper go and not giving up when I get annoyed at the ones that push me for my details because they don't want to pay for membership outside their free trial ( but I bet they are fine paying for a pizza ! ) , or those ones that are obviously scams and greet me with a 'Hey pretty lady you is an angle...' or those ones that get my hopes up because we have chatted and emailed for weeks and then disappear when a pretty, new object comes along. ( Although I do have to wonder if I have ever been that pretty, new object ever - just putting it out there - sorry if I have been, not my fault. I had no idea ! ). I can do this.

But what I am starting to discover again, apart from the ones mentioned above, are the guys around my age who are single/never married are for the most part ( not all but for the most so far ) SASFAGR.
Clever you! There is a G there now ! How good of you to notice ;) 

Now sometimes these good reasons are good reasons. Legitimate reasons. But, um, yes. Meet some of these guys in person and they really are single for a good reason, just not particularly good for them. And it's the unGodly ones that they just fail to see that are the most disturbing.

And without me going into my experience of why some of these guys aren't married yet or even been in a relationship it makes me think about my SASFAR status and if I've moved into the realm of SASFAGR.

And apparently I kind of have. It has been brought to my attention by two ex suitors ( one that really was an ex [ aka  The Real Ex ] and one that was an online potential that fizzled out the minute we met  - lets call him Divorcing Dad ) recently and in very different ways that my SASFAGR is not what I would have expected and not what they implied actually I had to piece the puzzle together myself since I was hiding about a dozen or so pieces away under the table so to speak ;) 
Photo by jscreationzs
They didn't have the full picture because only God has the full picture and I have the little pieces of me that I hide away. 

One of my favourite verses in the Bible is from Psalm 139 V 13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made your works are wonderful...

...I know that well.... and that's the bit I have trouble believing when it comes to me. 

That has essentially been my G but you can call it by it's real name. 


More on that on day 363 or whatever. But now at least I know my real reason and I can let Him do a work in my heart and convince me that His works are wonderful, including the making of me in whatever form I am, and that I will be able to say I know that well. And truely believe it.

Do you know it well? ;)


Sunday, 21 November 2010

-365 So what's a single gal to do?

Photo by Chris Sharp
"To the unmarried and widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am" 1 Corinthians 7:8

But what makes this verse even harder to work around as a single Christian gal ( and one that has been single for quite a while btw ) is that it isn't a single ( no pun intended..ok perhaps a very small one  )  verse in a Chapter on singleness. Or even a paragraph. It's helpfully in a Chapter on marriage and the very next verse states.....

"But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 7:9

Fabulous. But how does it work in 2010 when exercising self control is a lot more intense than exercising self control than in 1010, the population has grown but the Christian community (sadly) has over time diversified into other gods, religions and disbelief and you get to the age as a single Christian woman living in Sydney feeling like the choice of being married has been taken away from you for many different reasons ?

I was talking to Miss Chicago last night ( pretty much the last single friend I have left actually and she is a good 8 years younger than I am *sigh* ) about how I celebrated my birthday the day before yesterday and I admitted that I actually spent it alone that night. Now I had organised to do something nice the next day with a whole bunch of women/chicks who are all wonderful family members and friends & little people and pretty much every other year since my last relationship ended I've spent the night at my parents place where Marvelous Mum has made me my favourite dinner. But since I had the Saturday event planned, Friday night was just me. So I ordered some nice Thai food, bought a cupcake and a candle and blew it out after saying a heartfelt prayer to God that this be the year that I meet someone or that He take away the heart yearning, sob inducing desire to have a husband and kids.
I've been reading and been inspired by a few other people's blogs recently and after to talking to my friend last night I started to wonder if I had something to offer here to the 'blogosphere'. So here I am trying to find inspiration in this season in my life ( that is seemingly going on forever ) and staying faithful and trusting God but wanting to be honest too about what it's like to be a single, Christian woman in Sydney in 2010. 

Hence this blog. You'll get to know more about me as we count down the 365 days, my online and hopefully offline dating adventures ( and I shake my head as I write this as there have been some doozies ), some of my dreams but hopefully the good, bad, tissue grabbing, independent adventures and just boring Friday nights just me and the remote. If you've worked out who Miss365 is - please don't feel bad for me or out me ( for now anyway ) just add me to your prayer list that I get my hearts desire or He gently helps me alter that desire so that I don't want it anymore. 

See you on Day -364



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