A (somewhat) honest look at what it's like to be a single, Christian woman in her mid 30s in Sydney who wants to remain true to the life that God has planned for her but doesn't want to let go of her dream of being in a relationship again and eventually being a wife and mother

Thursday, 7 July 2011

-248 A sad week

Image from Healingdream
I've started the first sentence for this post about five or so times and just don't know how to start this post today.

I'm just sad.

On Monday afternoon Marvelous Mum called me to tell me that my 87 year old Grandmother ( Dependable Dad's mum ) had been found by his youngest sister at her home and had possibly had a stroke. She had been taken to a local hospital and wasn't likely that she would make it.

I got down to the hospital and got to see her briefly but still having a respiratory tract infection I didn't want to stay too long. I did get to hold her hand and quietly say a prayer for her in my head. She's never expressed much of a connection with God and despite converting to Catholicism when she married my Grandpop wasn't a Church goer. But I have faith and my prayers would be heard. So I told her that I was there and to rest.

I hung out in a small room with Marvelous Mum, Dependable Dad and three of my five Aunties ( the other two were rapidly in transit  from far flung places in Australia ).

Before we left that night the Hospital had moved her out of Emergency and into a Ward. She had rattled the bars of her bed, asked to be taken to the loo, a drink and for the tube to be taken out of her mouth. Heard her other two daughter's voices on the phone and was visited by a number of her Grandchildren, many of whom I bumped into either coming in our out of elevators or entry doors. The Hospital nurses must've wondered how many were in our family and if we were a cult or something. ;)

I tried to encourage Dependable Dad to stay for a while but he had hope that she was going to pull through although he did know that she probably wouldn't go home again and left very sad about that.

This is the part that is hard.

The next morning at about 7.30am I was woken by a very sad Marvelous Mum telling me that my Nanny had died, mid talking to a Nurse and that Dependable Dad was Devastated Dad. :'(

So it's been such a sad sad week.

And I'm learning a lot about my Nanny as well. Things I never knew about her.

I loved that I was born on her birthday. And even though I shared the privilege of being her grandchild with 20 others I am proud to be part of the legacy she left.

I wish in a lot of ways I could reveal who I am so I could share with you the online memorial link so you could read all the wonderful stories my cousins, Aunties & Uncles and cousins kids  have written about her.

Dependable Dad was telling me today how much he is taking comfort in everyone's memories and finding strength in that.

So the funeral is tomorrow and Rock On Bro & His Better Half 's Engagement Party is on Sunday.

A weekend of contrasts. But a weekend for family.


  1. love this blog =D... really awesme.. Please visit mine =]

  2. Thanks Shannon. I really appreciate your comment.


  3. It must be so hard. I really hope that your grandmother can find God before she meets him.

    Came by from FTLOB blog hop, and am glad that I did.

    Happy blogging!


  4. I'm so sorry for your loss. My grandmother's passed away aged a week shy of 70 and 101. Either age, it was still hard. But we have our memories. And as much of the family as possible still get together on her birthday - new years eve.

  5. You have all my sympathy. My Grandpa went to heaven just two months ago tomorrow. He and I were very close and it was difficult to watch him suffer through the final stages of cancer, even at 84. I miss him heaps.

    I was honoured to do his eulogy at his funeral and although it was difficult I also learnt some new things about him in the process.

    Whether you expect death or not, grieving the loss of family and friends is a neccessary part of life. Allow yourself time to go through this, whatever it may look like.

    They say that eventually memories of the final days of illness fade and you're only left with memories of the good times together. I'm waiting for this.

    I'll be praying for you and your family at this time.

  6. Thank you Treebytheriver, Michelle & WalkltotheWise.

    I appreciate your comments. And I'm sad for your recent loss Walktothewise. My eldest cousin did one of the eulogies and she filled four pages and could have written more. I learned things about my Grandmother that I never knew and I was so proud of my Dad for the words he spoke. He's grieving a lot at the moment. :'(

    Nice to see you again Michelle. Miss your insights. :)

  7. I read this post yesterday and wasn't sure how to respond. It reminded me so much of how my own father's mother passed away. She had a stroke too and never came home from the hospital. We knew when we received an early morning phone call that it wasn't good.

    It was all so surreal.

    I'll continue to pray for you and your family... for comfort and peace and unity.

    Please, be well.

  8. Ms. Blasé - Thank you for responding. You really, honestly didn't need to. But I appreciate it muchly.

    I'm sorry my story reminded you of yours.

    And we're doing ok. Devoted Dad is really grieving in his own quiet way but he doesn't turn to God like I am am able to when I'm sad. To be honest though, I am grieving more for my Dad at the moment. I will miss my Grandmother all my life but he is feeling the day to day loss I am not. :'(

    I am praying.



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