|Image by Steven Depolo|
I've been pondering this for the past few weeks. Who do you go to for encouragement or feedback whether it be to share an achievement or to get some positive words about something you've created or written? Do you have just one or two people that you can go to or do you spread yourself out thinly so not to become a 'needy single' burden on others?
I've noticed a big shift with my close friends lately in the encouragement department and I'm not sure what to make of it or how to compensate for it.
As I've shared previously Bestest Bud and I have been friends for more than 12 years and The Princess & The Crazy Med Student for just over 10. I really value our friendship and have appreciated in the past the fact that we've been able to go for a few months without catching up and then when we do get together we just talk for hours about everything that's important. Over the past few years, with the introduction of Facebook and Skype we've chatted a lot more frequently and thus hung out a fair bit more.
But now all of them are married and most have kids. Their focus, rightly, is elsewhere. There have been a couple of times lately I've shared something I've written ( from another blog that I write for Church ) or something else and while I have received great encouragement from other people, my closest friends have remained silent.
Now it's not like any of them are verbally encouraging people to start with. I did try to give them the heads up though on our holiday over New Years when we were talking about love languages and it came up that mine was 'Words of Affirmation' not 'Gifts' like at least one of them seem to think. I mean gifts are nice and all and just because I give thoughtful gifts to my friends doesn't mean that that's what I need...anyway....
But they used to be a lot better about making sure we encouraged each other and made each other feel valued and special.
I'm wonder if the decline in this is because they are married and seek that encouragement from their husbands now and don't feel they need to seek it from their friends anymore for the most part? Perhaps then 'forgetting' that their lone single friend in this group doesn't have this immediate support living in the same house and is still needing some encouragement every now and then.....I know it's an easy out to 'blame' this on the fact they are married, I mean I could be very likely be annoying the you know what out of them at the moment and they don't wish to comment on my blog post where I kinda opened myself up to world about being single......
Anyway, I am still pondering this one. I'm not losing sleep over it. I think I would like my own 'in house encourager' ( which I know comes with a free set of 'Kick me up the butt sometimes steak knives' ) - lol - but I don't care!
Will have to also write a blog post on hanging out with The Non Bachelor in the next couple of days too. I just don't know how to process it just yet. I'm not sure what God is doing. Restoration I think. But not in that way. In a new way.
Sometimes just writing this blog and getting some feedback in my comments of you all is 'in house' enough - for now ;)