A (somewhat) honest look at what it's like to be a single, Christian woman in her mid 30s in Sydney who wants to remain true to the life that God has planned for her but doesn't want to let go of her dream of being in a relationship again and eventually being a wife and mother

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

-239 Help fatigue

This morning as I was leaving the flat I thought that I was going to come home tonight and write a nice, happy, hope filled post that was full of positive energy and sunshine and all things lovely. :)

And my day started off happy and all was good.

But I started to notice as the day wore on I was less inclined to want to help others when they asked for it. I didn't exactly say "No" but I was a little lazy in my answers. At one stage, after I had just bitten into a rather large piece of chilli in my Pork roll, that perhaps that was my consequence for giving half hearted "helpful" answers.

So after getting a fair amount of work done and having a slightly anxious conversation with colleagues about something that is coming up in our sector I got in the car, drove about 100 metres down the road and...

...burst into tears.


And there have been random acts of crying since.

I won't bore you with all the details but I've prayed a lot this afternoon and I've reached the point of what I call "Help Fatigue".  My job is essentially helping others and speaking encouragement, wisdom and gentle "What on earth were you thinking?!" on an hourly basis every day.

I love my job. But it's a give, give, give job too.

And on other days I've felt like this in the past I've been in close proximity to kid cuddles or within a day or two of being involved in a community where someone may notice my sad eyes or because of that community I felt connected and less alone.

And the feeling passed.

But now I'm no longer connected to that community and I'm not in close proximity to kid cuddles -  I'm just at a loss.....honest post, hey? :)

So tonight I feel like I am suffering temporarily from help fatigue, disconnected & lacking in kid cuddles.

I'm ok. I promise.  And it has nothing to do with the Bachelor Updates or my retirement from online dating.

I just keep thinking tonight......

This too shall pass. :)


1 comment:

  1. You know, when we give out all the time (and it is part of my job also), it can be so hard to see what we receive, and to feel that there is nothing left to give. (Though I do find that when I have nothing is when God steps in and says, 'now that you're out of the way.....' :))

    I pray that as you settle into your new job, that you will find someone (or more) that is able to give you the encouragement, smiles, hugs that you need.

    PS my wv was 'frated'. Couldn't even give a full word? You must need a hug! ;)



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...