-267 Facebook makes me lonely

Miss365's iphone

Reading Facebook check ins on a Friday or Saturday night is starting to make me really quite lonely. The trend of not only announcing to the world all your friends that you are at some exciting and fun place other than home ( and some of my friends actually check in at home and make that sound exciting ie. Miss M is at Miss M's Spa and Poolside lounge  ) but with someone is *sigh*worthy to us bored at home singles. :P

And I'm not Miss Innocent when it comes to checking in either. I love to check in when I'm doing something fun. Particularly when I'm with someone - and no not on a date - sheesh! - I would tell you if I had one of those!

But when you've been hanging out with The Ninjas with Migraine sticks and Flu nun-chucks all week it makes Miss365 more lonely than ever to read how everyone is enjoying their extra long Easter long weekend out and about with people. *sigh* I'm not jealous and I'm perfectly aware that I could ring people to see what they are doing but I suspect those who are coupled up are out and those who are familied up are at home getting the kids ready for bed and not really doing very much at all really. I really need to work on this. 

This is one of the sucky things about being single and mid thirties and living alone. My social life is really quite annoying it's either a flood or a drought. And it's also making me seriously wonder how much more of this I can stand and what I can do about changing this. The singles harbour cruise did not live up to expectation and that Meet Up group was a fizzer so back to the drawing board ( so to speak ). What next ? Any suggestions ? 

Edit : Ok so I just got a text from Bestest Bud wondering if I was free next Saturday night ( I'm not The Princess booked me for dinner about a month ago - see! Flood or drought!) because she's catching up with a mutual friend of ours that we both do camp with. I am selfishly slightly irritated because I sometimes feel like this invites are second hand and I'm like the afterthought. And I know I'm not and it's just a consequence of the three of us ( me, Bestest Bud & Bonsai Master) being thought of as a symbiotic entity that still does everything together but it still makes me sigh. Thank you to The Princess for inviting me out separate to The Crew. I need that once in a while :) 



xMiss365

-290 Single Blogging Community vs. Single Community in Real Life

Photo by luigi diamanti

This weekend has been one of those weekends of contrasts. I've found solace and excitement in finding new members of the Single & Fabulous  ( and non single and amazing ) Blogging Community and also once again realising that while I have amazing and wonderful friends in real life through stepping down from a particular ministry last year and the fact most of them are either married with young kids, newly married or geographically challenged ( lol, haven't used that term in a while! ) I feel disconnected every weekend from that community if there is no pre arranged event planned by someone. 

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I wanted to see Gnomeo and Juliet and I have yet to see it because I am simply tired of seeing movies on my own. WHINE ALERT AHEAD! - so of course last weekend and this weekend I couldn't find anyone to go with. The reason ? Family commitments either with their own plans for entertainment with their husbands and kids or family bbqs and parties. *sigh* And before you tell me the joy of going to movies on my own - I am well versed in going to see movies on my own or I wouldn't have seen hardly any movies in the past number of years at the actual movies but I am seriously and simply tired of doing it. Over it. With a captial O.

Where did my community of friends go where we used to hang out, go see bands on weekends, grab a coffee, have dinner out, go for random trips to the beach in the afternoon?....Oh yeah they formed their own community. Their family unit. Which I completely get. It's just that I am feeling the loss and I don't actually know anyone else who is single that I can do these things with at the moment. I think this is the fourth weekend I've spent at home on my own. There has been stuff I wanted to do but because I am in this funk of being tired of doing stuff on my own I've been napping a lot, reading, on the computer and sighing. *sigh*

Praying for a way to fix this. And if I do stay single this will pass because my friend's kids will get bigger and will form their own community of friends and I'll get my friends back again. But I'm not sure how else to expand my world without neglecting the one I have.

That said I've had a fun weekend reading these new blogs and getting insight into other people's lives and I'm finding I'm neglecting the pile of books I want to read because I'm finding all your lives much more interesting. :)

Monday tomorrow. Big busy work day.

xMiss365

-323 Back to reality ( Tuesday 4th January 2011 )

Photo by nuttakit

*sigh* Holiday over. We had to lock up and be out of The Holiday House by 10am  but I knew that going straight home would be hard for me after having five straight days of company. Going home to an empty flat is always difficult for me after being with people after long stretches of time like this so I've worked out ways of distracting myself. 

On the way home, after saying goodbye to Bestest Bud, Bonsai Master and Such A Boy - who thought that he would see me in a few minutes, I drove down the coast a half hour and stopped off at a large shopping centre to indulge in some retail therapy. As you do ;)

I had fun shopping, eating lunch and was tempted to see a movie but was aware of hitting peak hour traffic if I left it too late that by the time I ended up putting my key in the door it was about 6pm that night. 

And it was ok. I had enough to do that night to not feel "alone" and missing the lazy, lounge bodies that were sitting ducks for random chats. ;) After four years of living solo it took me about 2 of them to work out that after I've spent holiday time, or camp time with people that I need to plan to do something fun or distracting afterwards or I'm prone to hit the singleton loneliness blues pretty hard. I co-lead a camp for teens with disabilities each year with Bestest Bud & Bonsai Master and last year I got smart and booked a trip leaving the day I got home to visit Miss Chicago for five days ( this was after already spending 10 days in New York & Pittsburgh for the Wedding of the Year - that was an awesome month ! ). 

I think I've worked out a bunch more strategies for coping with the downsides to being single or even just living solo than I've realised. Pity I had to though :P

-326 New Years Eve - Hurrah !

Photo by photouten

New Years Eve started off quiet. It's amazing how one night can come with all sorts of expectations of "fun" and "merriment" when really it's just another day and the pressure to do something a little more out there or special is a bit silly really. 

I did say in my post yesterday ( -327 Keep Calm and Carry On ) that I was taken by surprise at the fact that The Crazy Med Student was leaving earlier than I expected but after a good nights sleep, a bit of prayer I woke up and decided to make the most of the time we had together. 

We didn't do much during the day. A lot of being lazy, talking, reading magazines, watching cable tv ( which none of us have at home ) and then some of us going out for supplies and lunch before ending up having a quiet night in. 

What I loved about the night was when I asked someone what the highlight of 2010 was and it started a chain of shared memories, laughter and teasing and some good natured mocking that I love most about our friendships. 


When it was my turn to answer what the hightlight of my year was I didn't want to be a downer but so I said honestly that the trip to New York for the 'Wedding of the Year' ( The Princess & The American Boy ) was my highlight. When they pressed me further I did say though that I was hanging for 2010 to be over and I really wanted 2011 to be different. They reminded me that I finally had a migraine diagnosis ( yes I am thankful ) and that Bachelor #4 and I are building a good friendship. But yes I am quite certain that 2010 was not a year that I will look back on with fondness. God taught me and drew me to Him in ways I never would have expected and I am thankful to Him for that but He knows I am happy to see the back of 2011. 


And for most people that I've spoken to so far this year and late last year, they either thought 2010 was the best year for them ever ( marriage, babies etc ) or they would rather see the back of it ( death, illness etc ). Hardly anyone I spoke to had a "meh" year in 2010. 


My one down of the evening though did come at about 11.30pm when we were all upstairs and the topic of conversation was about marriage, weddings, children and being pregnant for the past half hour or so. I could feel the sob start to rise in my chest so I carefully and quietly got up and went downstairs, went out the back and just sat there and prayed while the tears of a single, lonely chick who would really like 2011 to be the year the single drought ends just poured down my face.


But the the blessing was that as quick as it came it went away too so by the time I came back upstairs the conversation topic had changed to other things and I had composed myself enough for no one to really notice. Not that night anyway ;)


So I hope your NY eve was great and special or that you got a solid night's sleep and the yahooing did not wake your slumber if you chose to sleep through the clock ticking over. 


And what was with that iphone alarm not working anyway ? ;)


xMiss365

-351 So not an introvert

Photo by Pixomar

But wishing I was. I'm not an over the top extrovert but I will choose a conversation over just about anything and tonight am sick of my own company. 

In two weeks I have 5 weeks of holidays coming up and I am looking forward to spending 5 of those days at a holiday house with my close friends, seeing Miss Chicago but the rest of the time may be spent in my own company. And in a lot of ways I am desperate for the time away from work but dreading the fact that holidays  highlight the fact that I am single. Sure there will be random, scattered coffee and lunches but now that my friends have kids and husbands ( and work commitments ) those times are few and far between.

Too much time spent alone messes with my head. Which is something I've known since my mid twenties and wonder why God has me in this season. I really hope it doesn't go on forever. 

Can you tell I am feeling the single person blues deeply tonight? I think I need to get a good nights rest and hopefully let the sunshine wake me up with a shade of aqua in the morning ;)

Goodnight !

xMiss365