A (somewhat) honest look at what it's like to be a single, Christian woman in her mid 30s in Sydney who wants to remain true to the life that God has planned for her but doesn't want to let go of her dream of being in a relationship again and eventually being a wife and mother

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

-294 How do you stop looking? ( Wednesday 23rd February, 2011 )

Photo by Tungphoto
Driving home this afternoon I was listening to an interview on the radio where an radio host was interviewing Danni Minogue and the conversation turned to dating and the host's lack there of a year ago. The host thanked Danni for  giving her what she considered the best advice ever the year previously in regards to her love life. Apparently Danni had looked so content in her relationship that the host just had to know what the secret was to finding contentment like that and so of course Danni told her to....

Just Stop Looking

Of course. Why didn't I think of that?! ;)

Do you know how many times I have genuinely tried to have a full and happy life and not think, pray, daydream or even dream about being in relationship, meeting someone or even having a decent member of the opposite sex interested in me?! It's boring, really hard and exhausting at the same time. 

But as I kept battling on through the peak hour traffic home I continued to think about this. Although it's easier said than done ( and this is hard to admit ) I maaaayyyyyy be getting a lot more used to the idea that I might not get married and may never have kids of my own and perhaps I am closer to the point where I'm not actually actively looking as much any more. And as the clock is running down ( as in the biological clock ) shouldn't I be upping the the looking and the doing rather than pulling back ? 

I'm not sure if this acceptance is just another thing to hide behind just in case I get rejected or that there isn't actually anyone out there who would find me amazing enough for him to want to spend his life with or if it's because through in part writing this blog and working out some other stuff in my life I am realising that I like my freedom now a little too much. What I don't like is not having many people to utilise that freedom with but give it a few years and their kids will be older and hopefully more fun and socialising can be had again. It's not a fun thing to ponder while tired and knowing full well that I have a really busy day at work tomorrow so I'm going to leave this there but other than slowly getting to know Bachelor #4 I am just not looking for anyone. 

How do you know the difference between 'can't be bothered anymore' and 'just not looking' ? 



  1. I guess the difference between 'can't be bothered anymore' and 'just not looking', is the giving up factor.

    One is saying 'stuff this, I'm never going to find anyone'. The other is saying, 'well, I'd like to meet someone, but hey, there is so much going on in my life that I am enjoying right now being able to ..... eat ice-cream at night, go to bed early, meet someone for coffee and pray for them .....' Fill in your own blank.

  2. Maybe that's it. I'm in the "inbetween" stage. Partly " stuff this" with a decreasing bad attitude about it day by day ( hope I don't read bitter - I've read some bitter single blogs out there and I REALLY hope I don't sound like that! ) and part "I like my freedom and my life and the freedom to have little adventures and have afternoon naps etc and not feel responsible for anyone but me today"

    Although that last bit reads really selfish, it's about finding that balance too I guess.

    I'm more content than I've ever been although my doctor keeps telling me bluntly that my time is running out to have kids and that sets me back in my contentment....*sigh*

  3. Balance! The answer to everything. Actually I think the answer was 42, but anyway. (Hitch-hikers Guide fan here). Also, God has the timing perfectly. We just think we know the best time.



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