A (somewhat) honest look at what it's like to be a single, Christian woman in her mid 30s in Sydney who wants to remain true to the life that God has planned for her but doesn't want to let go of her dream of being in a relationship again and eventually being a wife and mother

Thursday, 24 February 2011

-293 My List or The List or What do you have on your list? ( Thursday 24th February, 2011 )

"So what's on YOUR LIST Miss 365? You know if you write a list of everything you want in a man and pray about it then God will give you that man and you'll live happily ever after....I wrote a list and I got everything on my list and now we live so happy together"

Sorry if I sound bitter. I'm not. I just hate that 'Write a list and that's how God will introduce you to the man you will wed" mentality. 
And yes, I have written lists over the years and so have some of my friends. From memory I think I've only read Bestest Bud's list and despite her's being somewhat lengthy it was character based rather than physicality based. Oh, and yes Bonsai Master did fit her list - although true to God form not in the way you would have pictured him - at all. Lol. 

I've come across a few of these lists over the past few weeks when doing some decluttering and while some of them made me laugh because I obviously wrote them mid crush - they did have a few things in common. So perhaps I do still have an 'inner list' which I guess isn't a bad thing. 

So after a little reflection and listening to that 'still small voice of God' basically my list is....

  • A man after God's own heart
  • A man who loves me and wants to create an incredible life with me
  • A man whose face lights up when I walk into a room
  • A man who has a destiny and purpose and who wants to make a difference & loves the same in me
  • A man who gives good hugs and has a kissable face ( kissable face has nothing to do with looks but that I am attracted to him because of who he is )
  • A man that wants to have a  good home, work, church, fun balance in his life
  • A man who is steady but can be somewhat flexible and spontaneous too ( he'll need to be in order to cope with me ! )
  • A man that I can have fun with, laugh with and while be my 'best friend' still get that I need my girlfriends ( because he'll understand that I need to talk shoes, analyze relationships and work goings on etc and it will be in his best interests ! Lol )
  • A man that wants kids, would like to try to have kids, but won't walk away if we can't have kids. 
Now while not necessarily on my 'list' as such I would really like it if we had music, similar taste in comedy and traveling in common. But it would be excellent if we had a whole range of other differences as well -  like if he was better with money than I was (but not a total scrooge!), not a teacher ( boring! I know far too many teachers already - I need variety! ) and is accepting of people and where they are at. 

So that's my list really and sits in the back of my head only to pop up every now and then and remind me of it's existence. I don't think it's unrealistic and I'm not actively seeking the points on the list like a checklist every time I meet someone. For me I believe it's more a way of keeping my heart guarded and a reminder of what I really am seeking rather than if I am just settling out of loneliness. 

Ok, my regular commenters or commenter :).... and those of you that lurk - out yourself and comment on this one ! Be kind though ! This is after all from my heart and I bruise easily you know ! ;)



  1. Not an unrealistic list AT ALL! I have always heard this statement growing up in the church as well. "Make a list, make a list!". Um...I don't think I've ever really sat down though to make one for myself. I'm not super picky, really, I'm not. It's just it seems to be impossible these days to meet single guys who are totally committed to the Lord and have somewhat of the same vision as I do for life...

    There only has to be a fit with "the one" so, it's not like you and I have to go crazy about finding this person as I see it. If it is God's wish and plan, I am of the belief that He will orchestrate the meeting etc-course it helps if we know roughly what we like so we can recognize it when we come face to face with it (or him). Wasn't it Isaac who prayed for God to find him a wife and sent his servant out and he found Rebecca and then wala! Love at first sight. I wish this would happen for me when I ask-like bam. Right now! haha...

    You've inspired me to make a list just for the heck of it... I pray God sends you your husband speedily!! ((and mine too:))

    I wish I understood His timing for things better...hmm...maybe I'll sit down and ask Him about that one tonight :)

  2. Well, Jeanine, first you have to have an Isaac for you (as Jacob), and a servant to send out, and .....

    Miss365 - love your new look. I never had a list (that I can remember), though I have been married 22 years this year (I am only 28 inside, even if my birth certificate says I turn 44 this year). My husband, on the other hand, says "God is amazing, He gave me everything I asked for in a wife." I'm not too sure that he wanted someone as stubborn, sorry strong-willed, as him. And who didn't see things as black and white as him. But I am sure that God knew what He was doing when He put us together. (I think God has a sense of humor too, putting us together!) And I wouldn't change a thing!

  3. @Jeanine - Thanks :) Yep, "make a list! make a list!" Not something I heard until I got to a certain age. And I had a think about my list today and realised that most of the guys I've dated fit most of the criteria at first, until their dating mask slipped. So having a list isn't such a bad thing I guess. I'm looking forward to reading yours if you share it :)

    @Michelle - Thanks for the compliment about my new look ;) I've had a virtual makeover - lol. I'm sure your husband complements you and vise versa. I am constantly looking at the amazing matches of my friends marriages and laughing somewhat at God's sense of humour but admiring His perfect matching at the same time.

    Sometimes I wish I could see myself as clearly so I knew what to look out for. Lol. :)

  4. Oh, the dreaded list :) I use to have one until it got so insanely long (like nearing 75 things) that I just threw it out. There have been so many times over the past several years where I thought I knew what I wanted, only to find out how wrong I was. So now I just pray, "Lord, if it's Your will for me to marry, send me the man who You know is best for me and I for him." After all, you can't do any better than God's best!

  5. Ms Blase - 75 things! Lol! I'd be interested in what things from about 30+ were. They'd have to be pretty specific. And I agree with you completely about not being able to do better than God's best. But I think there are some girls out there who need to actually think about a list just so they don't end up with a guy just because he is;

    1. Christian
    2. Single
    3. Good looking
    4. Likes them

    I wonder though if you think about it, you too still have an inner list, it's just not like the 75 items you had before but more character based. :)


  6. Your list is just like all our list. I see nothing unrealistic on. Good luck on your journey =) Mr. Right will find you when you least expect him to. Thats what happened for me.

  7. Thanks for your comment Ms Sarah. Look forward to reading more of them ;)




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