-280 Why it's none of your business or Tomorrow has arrived ( You pick the title today )

Well dear readers, tomorrow is here and I have thought about why I was so bugged, irritated, downright snippy, rebellious about the need to clarify if I was indeed;

• Single
• Married
• Widowed
• Divorced

My initial reaction  I admit was annoyance and reluctance in essence to put myself back in a box, even on a form that will be typed into a database and place in a filing cabinet for a year. After all, this time next year I could be ticking the Married box. God can do amazing things in 12months. This I see even our leaders lives year after year. However I was too bugged by it.

Overnight I started to think about the options and how I would feel about ticking those.  

• Married -  Ms. Blasé you are right in saying that "... all of the married chicks I know jump at the chance to announce their marital status to the world. (And quite frankly, I would too if I were married!"  Yep, so would I but in a 1% way at the moment I am glad I can't tick that as I wouldn't have had the opportunity to think about this. Being Married is a feeling to be proud of. There is no shame attached. Your have been 'chosen' by someone other than God. You can prove that another human being of the opposite sex believes you to be so awesome that they are willing to share living arrangements, a bed, possibilities of the toothpaste lid being off or on, having to put the toilet seat down or forever be nagged about it and about a million other things. Married appears to be a status to be proud of. 
• Single - Well you know how I feel about being single. Equal parts love and sad with a side order of shame for the age I am at anyway. If I was a younger leader to tick single would not faze me at all or if it did it would only be a bit of wistful 'I wish'. But....to be ticking that box at 36 just brings up the feelings of shame that no one of the opposite sex thinks I am awesome enough to...etc etc etc. 
• Divorced - I dread to think how at least two of our leaders are going to feel having to tick this box ( and it's not even accurate - they need a separated box to be legally correct ) after the trauma and pain they have gone through the past few years. Every marriage has a story. Ticking this box puts a big invisible scarlet D on this person without knowing their circumstances. Depending on who is privy to reading these forms an their own personal beliefs about Divorce, no matter what the view of the Denomination you cannot control individual's own perspectives on such a Christian controverial topic. 
• Widowed - While I appreciate that they have this box how hard would that be to tick if it were recent? 

Basically the only option that wouldn't cause any type of shame or sadness or worry that I would be labelled.....oh and remember I am volunteering to Direct/lead on a camp for Disabilites where we actively promote not being labelled.....would be Married or Single ( if I was in my 20s or I didn't want to be married ).

Hmmmm.

I had a chat to Bestest Bud and Bonsai Master about it today while talking and organising camp stuff and we came to the conclusion that they are probably doing it for survey purposes. Which I then counter that to make it relevant they need to have more options - "Separated" &  "I prefer not to say"  and make it clear which sections are for data collection and which sections are for determining your suitability for Directing or Leading on their camps. Again it's a case of one perspective type people designing forms without looking outside the box ( so to speak ) and considering that their questions may cause people to be labeled as a result. 

xMiss365


PS Bestest Bud ( who is not rebellious at all ) said to leave it blank. In fact she said there were several things that she found intrusive on the form that she will be "Whoops" forgetting to fill out. Big big lol.