-312 & -311 Freaking out in the natural but my spirit is at peace - go figure! ( Sunday 16th & Monday 17th January 2011 )

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So for the past two days I have been entered in that time honoured battle of Self vs Serving with a side order of God holding back on a few details ;)

Basically here it is. Hopefully you've already read my post #9 365 Good Things (if not follow the link and then come back) and so you would know that I am staying with a lady that I don't actually know that opened up her home to anyone who felt lead to help. That would be me. 

Now I did a bit of Googling and immediately found one particular Church that seemed to be doing a fair bit of purposeful, coordinated effort to help with the situation. Time and time again I kept coming back to this particular church. After doing some mapping a little while later I found out their campus was about 20 minutes away from where I would be staying but their 'hubs' were all over the suburbs of Brisbane. Ok, I think I am meant to connect with this Church in some way. Got it God. 

Once I started to look seriously at the public transport situation and realised that it wasn't going to be easy to get around and also a bunch of emails flooded my inbox and facebook warning me that there were more than enough voluneteers up there already etc etc. I started to feel a bit silly and anxious about what I had done. I had already booked flights that I can't really afford ( well, I can but it's taken a fair bit of juggling and no safety net for at least a month ) and not knowing for sure if I would be a help or just floundering around the suburbs of Brisbane - well as you can understand the battle between the still small voice and the clanging loud one ( including mine ) has been rather exhausting. 

So I am in Church yesterday and had only earlier finished sharing this with a friend when I received a message from the lady I am staying with. It turns out that she had only just noticed that I had said that I was feeling like I was meant to connect with this particular church. Well of course - out of all the Churches in Brisbane ( and there are many of many different denominations ) it is her Church. 

I have my confirmation.

But sadly that hasn't stopped the anxiety off and on today. Not knowing is a hard concept. Not knowing the who, what, where, when etc when I have had to be in control at home and at work for so long is a hard concept to grasp. And I am a fairly laid back person. I just feel freaked stepping out in faith like this for such a small thing - I am in my own country ! Where they speak my language ! I would make a shockingly poor missionary !

I'm sure once I am there and I have an opportunity to talk to my new friend and to figure out the best way around I will feel less anxious and it will all fall into place but for now I am just trusting and hoping not to make a fool of myself by going. After all I shared this story with Devoted Dad hoping that he will see God in this and make a decision for Jesus. 

Faithful in the little. :)

xMiss365