A (somewhat) honest look at what it's like to be a single, Christian woman in her mid 30s in Sydney who wants to remain true to the life that God has planned for her but doesn't want to let go of her dream of being in a relationship again and eventually being a wife and mother

Monday, 17 January 2011

-312 & -311 Freaking out in the natural but my spirit is at peace - go figure! ( Sunday 16th & Monday 17th January 2011 )

Photo by anankkml
So for the past two days I have been entered in that time honoured battle of Self vs Serving with a side order of God holding back on a few details ;)

Basically here it is. Hopefully you've already read my post #9 365 Good Things (if not follow the link and then come back) and so you would know that I am staying with a lady that I don't actually know that opened up her home to anyone who felt lead to help. That would be me. 

Now I did a bit of Googling and immediately found one particular Church that seemed to be doing a fair bit of purposeful, coordinated effort to help with the situation. Time and time again I kept coming back to this particular church. After doing some mapping a little while later I found out their campus was about 20 minutes away from where I would be staying but their 'hubs' were all over the suburbs of Brisbane. Ok, I think I am meant to connect with this Church in some way. Got it God. 

Once I started to look seriously at the public transport situation and realised that it wasn't going to be easy to get around and also a bunch of emails flooded my inbox and facebook warning me that there were more than enough voluneteers up there already etc etc. I started to feel a bit silly and anxious about what I had done. I had already booked flights that I can't really afford ( well, I can but it's taken a fair bit of juggling and no safety net for at least a month ) and not knowing for sure if I would be a help or just floundering around the suburbs of Brisbane - well as you can understand the battle between the still small voice and the clanging loud one ( including mine ) has been rather exhausting. 

So I am in Church yesterday and had only earlier finished sharing this with a friend when I received a message from the lady I am staying with. It turns out that she had only just noticed that I had said that I was feeling like I was meant to connect with this particular church. Well of course - out of all the Churches in Brisbane ( and there are many of many different denominations ) it is her Church. 

I have my confirmation.

But sadly that hasn't stopped the anxiety off and on today. Not knowing is a hard concept. Not knowing the who, what, where, when etc when I have had to be in control at home and at work for so long is a hard concept to grasp. And I am a fairly laid back person. I just feel freaked stepping out in faith like this for such a small thing - I am in my own country ! Where they speak my language ! I would make a shockingly poor missionary !

I'm sure once I am there and I have an opportunity to talk to my new friend and to figure out the best way around I will feel less anxious and it will all fall into place but for now I am just trusting and hoping not to make a fool of myself by going. After all I shared this story with Devoted Dad hoping that he will see God in this and make a decision for Jesus. 

Faithful in the little. :)



  1. You know, Miss365, sometimes the enemy uses the time between an decision and the action to try to plant some seeds of doubt. Don't water them!!!!!

    Praying peace, and strength, and energy, and health for you.

  2. Thanks Chelle. I only saw this now that I'm home. That's exactly what happened ! I'm hoping to write a mega post in the next day or so about my week away and how it all worked out. :)



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