A (somewhat) honest look at what it's like to be a single, Christian woman in her mid 30s in Sydney who wants to remain true to the life that God has planned for her but doesn't want to let go of her dream of being in a relationship again and eventually being a wife and mother

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

-349 Remembering the 15 year old me today

Photo by Evgeni Dinev
So 21 years ago The Real Ex and I made out for the first time on a picnic bench at Music camp and deemed that as our Anniversary. Not that I've remembered this date for years but it jumped out at me today and it took me a few minutes to work out why it was ringing some bells of recognition in my head. And then I remembered and couldn't stop laughing. 

After a while I started to think about my 15 year old self who had no idea how much God loved me and how much I had to offer by just being who He created me to be. Back then I was such a different person - as most of us are as teenagers ( stupid mainly - lol! ) but how desperate I was all the time to prove myself because I hated who I was and was so ashamed of what I looked like ( poor me an Australian Size 10 - ridiculous how I thought that was fat ).

Some days I wish I could sit down with her and just tell her a few things. I would tell her....

1. He is not the one. You’ll be friends with him again when you are 35 but don’t put up with his rubbish now.
2. You are not fat! You are a size 10 you freak! Stop with the dieting! You will screw up your metabolism! Put down the caffeine pills now! Go to the beach and wear a bikini. This is when you can do it !
3. Taking a gap year is not fashionable now but it will be later on. Do it. Take a year off and travel. Remember he is not the one. It doesn’t matter if he can’t deal with it. ;)

4. See that Chapel over there ? The God that you've learned about on and off and the Jesus you made a commitment to in Year 7 but didn't know what to do about - well, He loves you. He created you and will give you all that love and attention and guidance you need.
4. If you choose not to listen to me it’s ok. You will learn a lot in the next 17 and bit years and have friends and experiences that you can’t even imagine now. But seriously, go wear a bikini ;)

What would you tell yourself a half a lifetime or so ago ? ;) 


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